Girls' Night Out 2: Revenge is Sweet
by TheShadowArchitect
Summary: The long awaited sequel to Girls' Night Out. A Girls vs Guys war rages through the city, and the Guys are losing big time. With Ronon and Zelenka captured, can McKay put aside his feud with Sam and bring an end to the battle? Does he even want to?


The long awaited sequel to Girls' Night Out. A Girls vs Guys war rages through the city, and the Guys are losing big time. With Ronon and Zelenka captured, can McKay put aside his feud with Sam and bring an end to the battle? Does he even want to?

Disclaimer: If I were in charge, Stargate Atlantis would still be on, and Stargate Universe would not. Luckily for SGU fans, I hold no power over that 'verse.

This is for everyone who wanted a sequel, and I finally got around to it. Three years later... (this one is better, though promise!)

Third Floor Dormitories, 1801 Hours

Rodney crouched miserably in an alcove-like corner of the third floor dormitories. He'd spent the last four hours of his not inconsiderably shortened life fleeing some of the most single-mindedly ruthless warriors who had ever laid eyes on Atlantis, without a single weapon or even a measly life signs detector. Any other day this would have been an accomplishment worthy of bragging rights, but today, right now, the situation felt hopeless and ironically unwinnable.

He looked down at his right leg, where three dark red splotches were becoming more pronounced. They looked almost like blood, and every single time Rodney had looked at them over the past hour, he'd felt a sort of need to curl up on the ground sobbing. He knew it wasn't blood, though. The splotches hurt, but not in the way the gunshot wounds they were impersonating did. Thanks to the past few years he was reasonably sure he could tell a paintball from a gunshot wound.

"I'm an astrophysicist!" he muttered under his breath. "I'm head of _science_! There is no explanation for why I had to be a part of this!"

"Get up, McKay!" Sheppard hissed urgently from behind. Rodney whorled around to face the voice, unsure what he would do if it turned out to be one of the people chasing him. "We're holed up in a room not far from here. I went out in search of survivors."

"You couldn't have come an hour ago?" Rodney asked exasperatedly, indicating the three splotches on his pants.

"You'll live." Sheppard said automatically. He handed a wraith stunner to McKay, who took it gratefully. "Take this, we don't know what's going on right now, we're kind of out of the loop and radio communication is risky. This is about as far as I dare go at this point. There may be only about sixty of them, but they're everywhere, I swear. Stay alert and follow me." Rodney looked warily back down the corridor and then jogged to keep up with Sheppard's clipped pace.

"Where'd you get the stunners?" Rodney asked.

"I thought this might happen after the prank you pulled. I stockpiled some supplies in an unused bedroom. So far we've been able to stay hidden and we're rescuing those we can find."

"Do you have a life signs detector?" McKay asked hopefully. Sheppard shook his head.

"Our stockpile included mostly weapons and MRE's." McKay's face lit up again.

"We don't know how long this is going to last, McKay. We're going to ration what we have equally and fairly."

"Oh, come on Sheppard!" McKay pleaded. "I haven't eaten in ages! My blood sugar is already dangerously-"

"We've only been under attack for four hours, McKay."

"And my last power bar ran out three hours ago."

"Once again, McKay, you'll live."

"How do you know that, huh? Who died and made you Carson?" Sheppard glared at him. Rodney's face suddenly fell.

"Carson's OK, isn't he?" He asked nervously.

"Beckett's alright. But if you don't shut up soon, you're not going to be."

"You wouldn't!"

"Yes I would, but I was more referring to the fact that if your mouth keeps moving, they'll hear you and find us. Now if you don't want to be caught and suffer a whole lot worse than what you're feeling right now, I suggest you shut up." Rodney went quiet for a second.

"How many MREs did you say you had?"

"Rodney, if you make one more sound…"

"Right, shutting up."

"Good."

The room was quiet and not quite as full of people as Rodney had expected. Three marines stood in a corner, none of them, Rodney noted, was anyone he'd ever put any effort into meeting. Drs. Beckett and Taylor sat on the unmade bed and one of McKay's minions paced back and forth along one of the walls nervously clicking a flash drive in and out of its shell. They all looked up as Rodney and Sheppard entered.

"I found Rodney; I'm going back out. Has Ronon come back yet?" Sheppard asked, scanning the room. There was a short chorus of "No" and "No sir"; Beckett shook his head. "If he's not back by the time I am, I want everyone ready for a rescue mission. We can't lose Ronon now."

"Sir?" One of the Marines asked.

"Yes, Lieutenant Wilkins?"

"What do you think they'd actually do to him if they managed to capture him? I mean, it's not as if they'd hurt him, right?" Wilkins asked.

"First of all, Lieutenant, Ronon spent years on the run from the Wraith, and even before that he was trained as a specialist in the Satedan Army. There is now way in hell that man would let himself be captured by anyone, let alone Sam's band of paintball gun-toting revenge-seekers. Don't forget that. And you know Ronon, he can survive anything."

"I understand that, Sir, I was just wondering what they're capable of at this point, I'm trying to gauge how seriously they're taking this."

"After what Rodney did to them, I don't think they'll be exactly easy on us, and Ronon does know where we're holed up. If they do get him, I know they're not going to play fair, but I'm sure Ronon's been through worse than they can dish out."

Detention Cell, 1805 Hours

It wasn't the first time Ronon had woken up on the floor, hands tied behind his back and face plowed into the cold plasticrete. In fact, he was pretty sure it wasn't the first time he'd woken up in _this_ cell. He tried to shake the fuzziness from his mind. It wasn't often that he was overwhelmed like that. It wasn't like he'd rolled over, either. He smiled, remembering the number of female marines he'd taken down before their stunners had overwhelmed his own impressive resistance. It must have been a record. Ten maybe? At least eight direct hits and maybe two that glanced off him.

It didn't change the fact that he had, eventually, been taken down. By female humans. He had, on occasion, especially before his time as a runner, been known to take a chivalrous approach toward women. That feeling was mostly gone now.

"Ronon?" The whisper came from across the cell and Ronon flipped himself into a sitting position to see who it was. Radek Zelenka sat on his knees in a corner of the cell, one slightly panicked eye on the backs of the three guards outside their energy-reinforced compartment, and the other on Ronon. "Are you alright?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, what'd I miss?" Ronon replied.

"Nothing. At all. It has been exactly the same since they brought you in." He paused for a second. "Have you been in contact with Sheppard? I heard he had a-"

"Shhh! You can't tell them anything. They aren't your friends and co-workers anymore, they're enemies now, and you have to believe they're listening to everything we say. This is getting serious, if they started using stunners it's only a matter of time before they start to use ammo. The less they know about Sheppard the safer he'll be."

"So what do we do?"

"You sit tight and don't tell them anything. I'll figure a way out of here."

Zelenka muttered something under his breath.

"What?" Ronon asked.

"I was cursing Rodney for getting us into this to begin with is all. He's the one that sent them to the planet. If he hadn't pulled that dumb prank, everything would be business as usual."

"This is McKay's fault?"

"Believe me, I feel for the guy, but I don't want to be between he and the women when they find out."

The Main Control Room, 1820 Hours

Sam surveyed the Gate Room with interest. She was pleased with the takeover. They may have been vastly outnumbered, but as far as she could tell, they had the vast majority of Atlantis's male population scattered and disorganized. Under her leadership they had the Gate, Main Control Room, Mess and Infirmary secured, and they were working on the ZPM.

And that was with the twelve marines Ronon had managed to send to the aformentioned infirmary.

"Colonel Carter?" Lt. Cadman asked, startling her from her reverie.

"Yes, Laura?"  
>"Your idea of putting Dex and Zelenka together worked very well. We didn't get any intelligence regarding Sheppard, Ronon was careful not to allow Zelenka to disclose this information, but it is probable that he is amassing some sort of team and preparing a strike force. We know who it is who sent us to P7W-5931. You probably will not be surprised to find it was Rodney McKay."<p>

"I have to admit it doesn't quite come as a surprise. It will make things interesting. I seem to remember that you two are acquainted?"

"Quite intimately, yes." Laura cringed.

"That was an interesting file."

"It was an interesting chapter in my life. I'm going to look forward to whatever punishment he has to endure. Maybe you could force him to go on a diet."

"Laura, as much as I would love to put McKay on a diet, I think what I have in mind will constitute suitable revenge. Remember, as soon as they understand who's in charge, I intend for things to go back to normal." Cadman visibly wilted, but quickly returned to her formal stance. "If they ever forget this, and try to pull one over on us again; they can, of course, expect a similar experience." Sam finished. Cadman seemed satisfied.

"About this army, though. Is the citywide life signs detector back online yet?"

"It should be ready for use in about fifteen minutes. There was some water damage from the incident with the Jumper bay, but it should be cleared up soon."  
>"Good. I want to make a move on the plan the moment we have enough information."<p>

"You really think it's going to work?"

"I know Sheppard. He'll come in guns blazing, as always, and we're certain he's armed himself. If I know Sheppard, though, his number one goal is going to be getting Ronon back safely. He won't attack if there's a chance Ronon will be caught in the crossfire. He's smart enough to negotiate, too, and then we'll state our terms. I'd give it less than an hour before we'll have what we want and we can get this place back to normal."

"I just hope you're right, Colonel."

"Contact the Infirmary and tell Keller to prepare for Operation Apology."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Thanks, Laura."

Third Floor Male HQ, 1845 Hours

"We have communications with three other groups around the city in strategic locations. We have to be careful, though. What intelligence we have tells us that the female population holds much of the main city, including the Infirmary and Gate Room. Even I have to admit, we may not win this one." Sheppard looked out at the group of military, medical personnel and scientists gathered in front of him. His radio distributed the information among the other, smaller groups around the City. Sheppard could tell by the silence in the room that he was not alone in his fears. Even Rodney had managed to stop grumbling while Sheppard made his speech. "Nevertheless, I intend to retake the City, and I need everyone onboard to do that. We have Numbers, and I intend to play to our strengths. The Women have the Main Control and Gate Rooms, and that's what we need to hit first, Group A will retake control, and set up our dominance. While this is happening, Group B will retake the ZPM, and smaller teams from Groups C and D will create perimeters around the Infirmary and –" Sheppard was cut off by Sam's voice as the Citywide drowned out his radio broadcast.

"Attention Male Population: We may not have you outnumbered, but we hold the most important pieces of the city, and we will not give up easily. You are divided, and weak, and in less than five hours we have managed to take and occupy Atlantis. In addition to this, we have hostages. Ronon Dex, Radek Zelenka, and many more medical personnel and scientists are being brought to the Gate Room as we speak to be transported off-planet. You cannot win on your terms. If you want this occupation to end, we are willing to negotiate a ceasefire. Please send a diplomatic party of no more than four people to the briefing room, thank you."

Sheppard continued undaunted. "Alright, Groups C and D will create perimeters around the Infirmary and Mess. If anyone happens to intercept the group of hostages, do not engage. We want as few casualties as possible, but if you can, give Ronon some sort of weapon. Seriously, when I say weapon, small knife or shoelace would be sufficient. On my Mark. Break!" A chorus of "Yes, Sir!" erupted from the audience as they stood in position. This was zero hour.

Main Control Room, 1850 Hours

"I thought we wanted them to fight." Cadman said, confused. Sam put down the microphone for the citywide and smiled knowingly.

"In Woman, I asked them to accept that they'd lost, and to please accept our terms for surrender. In Man, I issued a challenge. If I know Sheppard, he'll be willing to accept that challenge, no matter the risk to himself or his team. Remember, we'll only be able to pursue our conquest if Sheppard thinks he's being a hero."

"Ah, gotcha."

"Colonel Carter, Sheppard's mobilized his troops. We estimate he should be in position in about 90 seconds."

"Thank you, Teyla, the minute Sheppard gets to the Gate Room, raise the quarantine."

"I will." Sam watched Teyla get back behind her desk and begin setting up the sequence for the quarantine, then turned her attention to the Gate Room below. A line of about twenty male hostages, lead by an expressionless Ronon Dex and awkward Radek Zelenka, filed into place covered by twenty armed female security personnel. Everyone was in position. It was zero hour.

The Gate Room, 1852 Hours

Sheppard and Group A flooded the Gate Room with the same single-minded intensity of every other time they'd been forced to retake the City. This time, however, they were armed with paintball guns and stunners instead of the usual P90's and explosives. It felt odd to have to retake the City from his own people, but, he reasoned, they'd asked for it, and he was more than happy to dish it out.

Suddenly, sirens began to blare and the doors to the Gate Room closed, trapping much of Group A in the hallway behind him. Within seconds, a group of 20 more armed women had them surrounded.

"Hey, that's not fair!" He heard Rodney shout as everyone went silent.

"I suppose not." The ten people in Group A who had made it through before the quarantine doors closed turned to face Sam, who walked gracefully down the steps to meet them, flanked by Teyla and Lt. Cadman. Rodney sighed, annoyed. "According to our Life Signs Detector, the vast majority of your superior numbers are trapped in hallways and corridors and other useless places. We've just received confirmation that we still hold the Mess, Infirmary, and ZPM. All males are accounted for. Face it, Sheppard, you've lost."

"I'm not seeing it."

"We should start negotiations immediately."

"Or what? I'm prepared to outwait you."

"I have no doubt that you could, Sheppard, but we're on a tight schedule, and have 20 lovely hostages." Sheppard saw Ronon growl inaudibly, his face illuminated by the glow of the security bands immobilizing his torso. "You have to wonder, how long will they be able to last, on P7W-5931? Dr. Brown, please dial the Gate."

"You can't do that! I'm sure stuff like this was covered at the Geneva Convention! Sheppard, tell them they can't do that!" The whoosh of the gate activating drowned out McKay's final sentence, but his point was noted by Sheppard.

"McKay, they can do whatever they want. We're in another galaxy not governed by Earth law. All we can do now is negotiate." He looked up as Ronon was pushed through the Gate first. "Fast. It's night on that planet."

Briefing Room A, 1910 Hours

"We have three terms. Agree to them, and you get your people back and we go back to normal." Teyla said.

"Fine, what are they?" Sheppard asked.

"1. Complete surrender. We lift the quarantine doors and you don't try to fight."

"Fine."

"Good. 2. You agree to repair all damages to the City and clean up. This place smells like dead squid."

"There is no way I'm gonna-" Rodney started.

"Rodney gets no say in this. The answer is yes."

"What? I'm on the team, I get as much say as everyone else." McKay replied, indignant.

"The last one is specifically for Rodney, actually." Teyla said, glancing at Sam. "You have to apologize for sending us to the planet."

"What?" Rodney asked, and then turned toward Sheppard. "I can't do that, Sheppard. It would completely ruin me."

"He says sorry."

"I do not!"

"What are you, five?"

"No, but I do have a shred of pride in me, Sheppard!"

"You were the one that pulled the stupid prank, McKay, and now Ronon, Zelenka, and eighteen other people are in grave danger. If you don't say you're sorry, I will personally escort you back to earth, where you will be stuck, for the rest of your days, teaching high school physics to inner-city children. Do I make myself clear?" Sheppard warned.

"I'm sorry."

"Now say it on the Citywide." Sam said.

"No."

"McKay!" With an angry sort of lurch, McKay picked up the mic and said, in a slow and quiet voice:

"This is Rodney McKay, and I apologize for sending you all to P7W-5931. It will never happen again, etc, etc." He placed the mic back on the table and glared at Sam. "Happy?" Sam stifled a laugh.

"Very."

"Good, 'cause I've lost all respect. I'll have to hire all now minions, and its hard work getting good ones."

Mess, the Next Day.

Sam and Sheppard sat across from one another at one of the tables at the far end of the Mess hall. There was no hostility, no animosity, and they were both smiling wholeheartedly into their mashed Pahlor tubers.

"Did you see the look on his face when you asked him to say it on the Citywide?" John laughed, piling the orangey lump into a fairly extensive castle-like structure.

"That was absolutely hilarious. But that line about teaching physics? How long did it take you to come up with that?"

"Longer than I care to admit. It was worth it though; I've never seen Rodney apologize in any way that wasn't dripping with sarcasm. We did something marvelous."

"We sure did."

"Revenge is sweet."

"Oh, yes. Yes it is."

Thank you for reading!


End file.
